VNC Remote Desktop

I have been using Remote Desktop very successfully on Windows Machines for years. As I have transitioned to Linux, achieving the same functionality has been elusive. The functions I want to produce on Ubuntu 10.10 are the following:

1) Start up VNC (any version e.g. x11vnc, vnc,...) as a service even if no one has logged onto the machine.

2) Allow multiple people to run sessions (basically virtual sessions) remotely.

3) Allow a remote connection to set screen resolution based on the client not the server.

These things seem like what any experienced Linux person would want, but apparently most experienced Linux people just want a terminal. I say this because, I have had years of searching trying to find any instructions that address my needs or instructions that I can follow which can get me to the functionality above. I am so disappointed I have spent so much time trying to figure this out.

What am I missing?

What VNC server should I be using?
Where are there understandable instructions?
Do I need Xvnc?

On my list above, I need #1 and #3, and would like to have #2.

Can you help me? Do you identify with my frustration with Linux remote desktop? Anyone know of a (windows) Remote Desktop server which can be loaded on Ubuntu?

Remote

Use Gitso or Teamviewer.